We feel lonely, sometimes to the point of tears, but we don’t let those tears come because we are not supposed to cry. Or how we feel a surge of love for a partner but we don’t say anything because we’re frozen with the fear of what those words might do to the relationship.
Exams are fine. Chinese was kinda difficult. Its gonna end soon and results will be surprising! I wonder how did I fare in the exams. Yesterday was fun. Meet wc at 10.45 for tuition. Had kfc as our "breakfast" haha. We saw so many people there in JurongPoint. Then, Emilio came looking for us after that. Kinda studied and ec came along. Walked to JP and took neoprints. Well, emilio left before that. Haha and wc, ec and I kinda laughed alot. That was the funniest thing. wth anyways, I had lots of fun with those people whom I loved!

Dear you,
Hey babey! I'd been so much closer to you now. And thats great! You rock in scolding others haha. oh and when you laugh, you're so cute! Haha well yeap thats you mum haha.

Dear you,
Dont be a copycat. Im copyrighted haha. I dont really like you like everyone else does. I know that you dont really me too. But what you did just makes me dislike you more. Are you even happy when you replied someone in a msg and that someone didnt reply you back. And you asked me questions and replied me with a nvm. Flyskate you luhh.

Dear you,
I love your smile! I cant say everything here or else haha(: iloveyou

I’m lonely, and I am hurt. I’m tired of feeling weak. I’m tired of being alone. I’m tired of feeling invisible. I’m tired of crying myself to sleep. I’m tired of shutting everyone out. I’m tired of never being good enough. I’m shaking, gasping for breath, and I’m absolutely terrified. Waiting for that moment, the one that comes every time. The one where you detach yourself and leave me alone once again. I’m so sick of all of this, of feeling like I have nowhere to go. My last resort fell through. And just like always, I’m alone.

Today was a long and tirng day. Stuffs happened. Well, I just have to say that, I'm not going to be involve it anything thing anymore. I shall not care and I shall not follow. I'm wrong.

Dear you,
Why did you brought it at the first place? If you didnt call her up and planned, today our punishment wont be at this stage. You brought it, you drank it, you wrote our names but when we asked you, you said that it wasnt you. Excuse me, we're not 3 year old kids alright. Dont try to lie to us. If its you then its you. You dare to write our names but you dont dare to admit that you were the one who wrote our names and told the teacher what we did. I'm never gonna trust you.

Dear you,
You knew that it is against the law, but why did you still bring it to school? You can drink it at home, nobody can stop you. But in school, its against the law. I didnt know it at the first place. And I told you not to bring it didnt I? But again you brought it to school. Nevermind, what has done, has done. You cant possibly rewind time and change it.

Dear you,
I know that you didnt have the mood after the thingy but you cant treat me this way right? You hurted me twice today. You know it well. Im disappointed. You broke your promise.

Dear you,
Who you think you are? You dont have the rights to call people names. YOU DONT. You complained to teacher that others called you names but you yourself did as well. Im not your dog. You dont have the rights to say shooo to me. I left because I respect you as a human being. But what you did was totally disgracing yourself. Maybe you might not be aware that many people dislike you. YOU SUCK. YOU DONT HAVE ANY RIGHTS TO CALL PEOPLE NAMES. Idiotic Organism.

I’m scared to move on because I’m worried that the second I’m happy with someone else, you’ll pop up and ruin it. Ruin it by telling me that you want me, and that you’re sorry, and that you like me “kinda a lot,” and that you miss me “kinda a lot.” I’m worried that I’ll get so confused because I’ll be so happy with him, but of course I’ll still want you, and that will make me start crying all the time, end up losing the best relationship I ever had, just to have you get bored again and move onto some trashy girl. The worst part about all of this? I can see you doing it, because you want me hooked, you want me as an option, even if it is an option you’ll never take.

Well,school's fun for today.Haha I'd really laughed and joked around today. I realised that I was just being myself. WTH am I saying. Well, I was trying to say that I'd never laughed so much in school like I did today. HQ's back(: WC was insane. WC,EC and I actually talked about some stuffs that we werent suppose to discuss. Hey WC, if you're reading this post I guess you're gonna rewind and think of what happened today and laugh out loud. Haha well, I guess I'll do my dear you.
Dear you,
Honestly, I DISLIKE YOU! You yeap you. Why are you always trying to get us back to our seats? If we're quiet and attentive, you dont have to worry. Oh and excuse me, I dont know what you're teaching. Its not that I'm not paying attention in class but its because your lesson is dry and boring. Stuffs that you taught us just simply cant get into my brain. Im not stupid but you just cant make your lesson more interesting and colourfull. Your tone. Omg I cant tolerate.Haha

Dear you,
Thanks for helping me and remember our promise?(: I love you. I dont really know what to say you, maybe just these for today(: Boyfriend.

Dear you,
I'm really sorry. I cant decide. You're my bestfriend. I dont want to break our friendship. Thats all I can say. Maybe I should go for you. You should.(:

GLEE.

I really enjoy spending time with you, even if we’re just going to be sitting around and talking about nothing. There are a million things I love about you, like your nose or the way you smile, the way you look me in the eye, too. And I just get the greatest feeling when I make you laugh. I feel as if my company makes you happy, and that’s what I wish for you. For you to be happy. And when I see you laugh at my clumsy ways, it just makes me want to spend the rest of my life with you so I can see a smile on your face.

So well, term 1 had been a bust. Things happened. Here and there. But now its over. It came to an end. And term 2 has started. I guess Imma be a good girl listening to mama. Haha well, I might be going to Universal Studios with Shirley or EC this weekend. Hope that they're all free and things will go well. By the way, this is just a short post. I'l continue it tomorrow(:

Love ya,

If i die tomorrow, there will be people who have totally different memories of me. To one person I might be the bitch who thought she was better. To another person I might be the ugliest person on this planet, to her I might be the gorgeous, lucky girl who she despised because I was spoiled rotten. To another girl I might be the girl who got really good grades, so jealousy erupted. To him I might be the girl with the annoying laugh. To another guy I could be remembered as the girl who wasn’t anything to him. Maybe I’ll be remembered as the girl who was always on her phone, or the girl my roommate disliked. But none of that matters. you know why? By my best friends I’ll be remembered as the girl with the contagious laugh and the girl they would go to if they ever needed anything. But most of all, I’ll be remembered by my enemies as the thing they couldn’t add up to.
Everyone’s heartbroken nowadays. But I mean, we all just have to move on. What’s the point of reminiscing when you know the person is no longer worth while; when they’re no longer who they used to be? When their heart is somewhere else? Do you think they still care for you, or are still thinking about you? Because frankly, they don’t.
Don’t tell me who I am; because unless I write all my thoughts down on a piece of paper and hand it to you, you don’t even know half my life.
I wish i was a little kid again. I want someone to take care of me. I want someone to clean up my messes and remind me what’s right from wrong. I want to be awed at, even if what I’m doing isn’t that cute. I want to be yelled at before i make the same mistakes again and I want to be held in someone else’s arms while I cry my heart out.
"Shit" really happens everyday. Was sent home from school this morning. Because of ulcers. Dots. And, the water pipe was spoiled. And, my wallet dropped into the lift. I had caused so much trouble. What a stupid day. I really wanna thank those workers whom helped me and they were awesome! Haha dots.

P.E lesson was great. But not till the middle of the lesson. Something happened, and I wouldnt like to eleborate it. I wish that I could take him back. He's so scawny and he's injured. His even afraid of people how would he bite?

If you’re not happy with the person you’re with, don’t stay with them. You’re not magically going to wake up one morning and decide you’re going to be happy again. Someone makes you that way. Find the someone that makes you happy.
Sometimes, I feel a little jealous inside imagining someone can please you more than me. I guess it’s just my insecurities acting up a bit, because I know I’m not the most beautiful, most fun, or even the most exciting person you’ll ever meet.
You can find the good in anybody if you just give them a chance, benefit from the doubt. Sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you, but you never really get to know them until you listen to what’s in their hearts.
I’ve made mistakes in my life. I’ve let people take advantage of me, and I accepted way less than I deserve. But, I’ve learned from my bad choices and even though there are some things I can never get back and people who will never be sorry, I’ll know better next time and I won’t settle for anything less than I deserve.
I'm back from camp(: It's so damn tiring. The trainers were so cool. Actually, I cant really think of anything now. I cant remember anything now. I'm so tired. I guess I'll continue with this some other day when I'm free or maybe bored. Haha Tired!

Anyways, these are the quotes. I find them meaningful.(:

I believe that everything happens for a reason. People change so that you can learn to let go, things go wrong so that you appreciate them when they’re right, you believe lies so you eventually learn to trust no one but yourself. And sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.
Most of the time, we can’t tell what’s wrong with somebody by just looking at them. After all, they can look perfectly fine on the outside, while their insides tell us a whole different story.
In order to be happy you have to accept that at times, you will be sad and not let that bother you.
You shouldn’t worry about when people talk about you. When they don’t talk about you is when you should worry because it shows that they are not interested in you and what you do.
Anyone can make you smile or cry, but it takes someone special to make you smile when you already have tears in your eyes.
Learn from your past, move on, grow stronger, people are fake and your trust lasts longer; do what you do, but always stay true, and never let anybody get the best of you.
People ask why life is sometimes so full of pain. Well, without pain, would we learn how to appreciate happiness? Would people learn from their mistakes? Would people learn how to pick themselves up after they fall? Sometimes pain is the best teacher and through the pain, we learn how to show kindness to others.
You can find the good in anybody if you just give them a chance, benefit from the doubt. Sometimes people disappoint you, sometimes they surprise you, but you never really get to know them until you listen to what’s in their hearts.
Hate all you want, but you can't break the girl who thinks nothing of you.

Happy 16th Birthday JB! Love you lots(: <3

And after a while you learn that you don’t need anyone else in order to survive. No one is ever going to always be there, no matter what they say or what they promise you. You just gotta suck it up, accept it and keep going on.
It’s an easy thing, saying “I love you” to the people that matter. You never know when you might lose them. Or when they might lose you.

School was fine. I love frisbee practice. I mean today. Shirley was so funny the same goes to WC and EC. I was laughing so hard at that time. Really enjoyed PE lesson for today. Anyways, its like 2 more days left till camp! Imma miss so many people. But I guess I'll camwhore till I go mad. Or maybe not. Anyways, its JB's 16th birthday today! According to the LA time.(:

Your heart just breaks, that’s all. But you can’t judge, or point fingers. You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you.
We can’t fast-forward time to know if it’s worth it.
 So we trust our hearts and hope it turns out right.
And it may seem like we have nothing much to talk about but sometimes it’s nice not to have to talk.

Maybe sometimes, you'll feel sad. Or maybe happy, frustrated. Being a human being, we all are similar as we are selfish. Childish at times even when you're an adult. We as human being, get jealous. Of course you cant say that you dont. And things change around us every single day. Sometimes, we dont wish things to change and we dont wish to do certain things but we have to. We didnt ask for bad things to happen. Maybe this was all god's idea. Maybe he wants us to learn. Not in education, but learn to gain self confidence where people cant help us. But WE have to help ourselves to move the obstacles we stumbled on.

If you cant tolerate my nonsense anymore please tell me. I dont want you to tolerate. Cause I care. Its not that I want to tell someone about the bad stuffs and sabotage you. But I just cant I really cant concentrate in my studies if things were going to be the way they want. I didnt complain. I was hoping that someone could help me move the obstacle I stumbled on. If you guys thought that I complained it in purpose then I'm sorry. I dont wish everyone to get into trouble. I dont wish to lose friends. I just hope to be friends with everyone. Those whom I dislike. Those whom dislike me. And for stuffs that changed. I dont wish that to happen. I dont wish people to say things about me even if you're my friend. Thats why you dont appreciate it. Maybe we should talk to one another. When we're not satisfied with one another. Not scratch behind my back. Yes. Learn to forgive and forget. But people have scars in all sorts of unexpected places, like secret road maps of their personal histories; diagrams of all their old wounds. Most of our wounds heal, leaving nothing behind but a scar. But some of them don’t. Some wounds carry with us everywhere and though the cut is long gone, the pain still lingers. I wish that everything could be the way it use to be but without trust and cooperation we cant.

Dear you,
I know that you are frustrated with what I did. Like what I've said I didnt do it on purpose. I was just hoping that someone could help me move the obstacle I stumbled on. Maybe you said stuffs about me to someone else cause she stared at me when you were telling her. Yes, I know that many things happened with this 2 month. But did you take a walk in my shoes? Do you understand me? Do you think I'm so stupid to wish things to happen? Yes, I cant but I'm just jealous. I admit. Cause you someone important to me. You're part of my life. Maybe you think that you can settle it on your own but the truth is, you cant. Its like I'm being kicked to a corner. If just we could understnad one another, there wont be gaps.

Dear you,
Maybe you've told someone else about the things I've told you. I know you trust me and the same goes to me. Most of the times, you and I have the same thoughts. You know it well.

Dear you,
Maybe you're not the same old person I knew before. Your friend asked for it. If you were the same old person and you were the one who replied things wont turn out this way. I've forgive and forget about it. But you? You didnt. I'm sick and tired of everything. I just hope that we'll all be friends. Forgive and forget.

If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with.
You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession, my tendency to be too clingy. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me.
But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite my thinking that it is impossible.
So yeah. I'm aware that I havent been blogging for ages. But the reasons are that :

1. I've been busy.
2. School work has been piling up like crazy.
3. I've had my heart broken.
4. WAY TOO LAZY.
5. Busy with Common Tests.

So now, common tests are over and camp is coming. 4 more days. I'm so excited. But I've had been busy finding and buying stuffs for camp. Its gonna be a 4 days 3 night camp. Many things going on. And learn to forgive and forget cause you'll just grow older as in having wisdom hair if you're gonna carry on being angry or you dont even understand. I'm not referring to any one. But these words just popped out in my mind.

And I didnt ask for things to happen. Its just that... Its okay WC knows it. If she's listening to me. Haha anyways, 2 MORE DAYS TILL haha I LOVE YOU! OMG

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all the pointless drama and the people who created it. And surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget about the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short to be anything but happy.

Today was fine. Had a chinese new year celebration after recess and it ended at 11.15 am. Thats too short for a concert. Had Geography lesson and went home. Then, went to Suntec City with mum at 3pm and we each got ourselves a pair of high heels. And I got myself 2 shorts and a small bag from Cotton On Body. Walked around and we went to MS. Ate KFC, got myself 2 necklace from Diva. So summing up, I spent like 100 bucks today. Ohh and HQ went back to malaysia. ): Imma miss her much. WC is leaving tomorrow too. EC, I'm not too sure. Imma miss them. Anyways, Happy Chinese New Year and have a good trip to Malaysia my friends! (L)